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“I was stalking him too much, seeing him doing fun things on Instagram, and it hurt.”They’d been instant-messaging on Facebook, and one night he told her he loved her. Like, he was almost fat.” But now here they were, and she didn’t know quite how to get out of it. They started walking around the mall, “talking about nothing, nothing.

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”—she decided she had to “lose it to someone,” so why not with someone she would never have to see again? “Sometimes I just want to talk to a guy so bad.” So she downloaded the app and started swiping through the pictures of boys in her area. ”They arranged to rendezvous at a shopping mall in Los Angeles not far from the neighborhood where they lived. And if it turned out he was really some gross old man, I’d just run away.” But there he was, standing by his car, looking almost like his picture. Later she posted something on her Tumblr blog about the difficulty of finding love.

And yet, she hoped it would somehow be like the Lana Del Rey song. The guy she was supposed to meet that day—the guy from Tinder, the dating app kids were using to hook up—“I know, like, five guys who’ve done it; girls use it too, but they pretend like they don’t”—he was cute and had tattoos on his arms. She “hearted” his picture, and within a few minutes he had hearted hers, and then they were instantly texting.“Ur hot,” he wrote. WHEELING IN THE BITCHES“Gotta wheel the bitches in.

There were four of them: Melissa, Zoe, Padma, and Greta.* They stopped to sit down and talk awhile at an outdoor table. ”“Path, Skype,” Zoe said.“Tumblr,” said Padma.“I have a Twitter, but I don’t use it except for stalking other people,” said Greta.

They were pretty girls with long straight hair—two blonde, two brunette, all aged 16. Greta, they said, was famous—or Instafamous, having thousands of followers on Instagram. They all laughed knowingly.“I think everyone does it,” Greta said.

“You can be sitting in class getting a boner ’cause some girl is texting you that she wants to suck your dick,” said a boy in L. “It’s kind of distracting.”As quickly as new social media appears, teens seem to find ways to use it to have sex, often sex devoid of even any pretense of emotional intimacy. Two hundred bucks.” And then there is Tinder, where kids can meet each other on their phones. “Even people who get in a relationship, it usually starts with a hookup.” Which can mean anything from making out to having sex. Oral is, like, the new kissing.” “The cum shot in the face is a big thing,” said another girl.

There’s sexting, and there’s Snapchat, where teenagers share pictures of their bodies or body parts; on Skype, sometimes they strip for each other or masturbate together. told me about a boy he knew who had a Pay Pal account where he accepted payment for being sexual online with “random guys . “It’s like Grindr used to be for gay guys, but now kids are doing it,” said a girl in L. “No one cares about anything but how you look.”“We don’t date; we just hook up,” another girl in L. And then there are “texting relationships,” a disembodied coupling that takes place solely on a screen.

” I asked.“Because then we would have no life,” said her friend.

The girls had been celebrating a birthday at the busy L. mall, and now they were on their way home; they carried bags of leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory.

“Because they’re not saying it to our faces.”“This guy Seth, who is normally timid in real life,” said Greta, “sends girls messages asking for nudes.”She showed me a text exchange in which Seth had asked her to “send pics”—meaning nude pics, a request Seth had punctuated with a smiley face. He still has it and won’t delete it.”I asked if they knew girls who posted provocative pictures of themselves. “I call it hilarious.”MIRROR, MIRRORIn the video for ”We Can’t Stop,“ Miley Cyrus writhes around on a bed, sticking her ass up in the air.

Greta had responded “Lololol” and “Hahahaha” and “Nope.” “It wasn’t THAT funny,” Seth had texted back.“He isn’t my boyfriend,” clarified Greta.“My friend, she was VC-ing,” or video chatting, “this guy she was kind of dating,” Melissa said. He sent it to so many people and the entire baseball team. They all said yes.“More provocative equals more likes,” said Greta.“It attracts more guys and then it makes other girls think about doing it just for the attention. She grinds her ass into the crotch of a woman twerking. A.’s twerking into the crotch of Robin Thicke, causing an international sensation.

Kids have always been interested in sex, of course; but there have never been more ways for them to express that to one another, at any moment of the day, no matter where they are.

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